


Possibilities

by Joe_Reaves



Category: Primeval
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-10
Updated: 2010-04-10
Packaged: 2017-10-08 20:45:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/79361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joe_Reaves/pseuds/Joe_Reaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stephen goes to visit Nick hoping to clear the air after Helen's revelation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Possibilities

Stephen saw the flash out of the corner of his eye and groaned. Great, he was going to get a speeding ticket now. If Nick and Helen really had caused something in the past to change, why couldn't the person who'd vanished have been whatever bastard invented speed cameras rather than the mysterious and apparently very important to Nick Claudia Brown?

He was pretending to himself that he was racing around town aimlessly, trying to blow of steam after the day they'd had. It started with a monster from the future and its eggs, progressed to Helen trying to mess up his entire life and quite possibly irrevocably damaging his friendship with Nick, and finished up with three raptors in a shopping mall. Oh yeah, and let's not forget that at some point he'd gone completely insane and compounded the rift between him and Nick by suggesting the other man had tried to get him killed and had followed it up by accusing him of having a nervous breakdown.

He was pretending that's what he was doing because deep down he knew exactly where he'd been heading from the moment he left the garage under his block of flats. He was heading for Nick's house. Judging by how the rest of his day had gone this was probably the biggest mistake in the history of mankind, but he was Stephen Hart and he laughed in the face of danger so he was going to do it anyway. Besides, at this point he didn't think he could actually make things any worse. Nick resented him for his affair with Helen, no longer trusted him, was hurt that he'd suggested Claudia Brown was a figment of his imagination, and probably had serious doubts about his judgement after he'd thought Nick would let him get eaten by a raptor

He couldn't believe he'd said that about the anomalies affecting his mind. It was probably wishful thinking. He didn't want there to be someone in Nick's life, not like that. He'd waited years for the man to start getting over Helen and now there was some woman he could never compete with because she didn't exist in his world, only in Nick's. He should have at least pretended to have some faith in Nick though. Connor had believed him, Abby wanted to. Of the people who really knew Nick, only he had thrown it back in his face and openly doubted him.

He parked outside the house and stared at it for a while. This was a huge mistake. Nick was probably asleep by now anyway and waking him up in the middle of the night after the day he'd had just to ask for some reassurance that they could fix this and Nick didn't hate him, was not going to be a popular move, even apart from the fact it made him sound like a teenage girl. He groaned. He hated the fact that Nick could make him feel like he was fourteen again and trying to ask Elizabeth Bassett to the school dance. He leaned forwards, folded his arms over the handlebars and rested his head on them. This was pathetic, could things get any worse?

"Oh, for God's sake, just get in here and stop loitering in my driveway!"

Yes apparently they could. He could not only be pathetic but Nick could catch him in the act. Joy. This was just turning into the perfect end to the perfect day. Reluctantly he got off the bike and slunk towards the door like he was expecting to be sent away any moment, which was stupid considering Nick could have just ignored him if he'd wanted to, but it was how he felt.

Nick stopped in the hallway and held out his hand expectantly, waiting when it looked like Stephen wasn't going to react, until he grudgingly removed his coat and let Nick hang it up. Another pointed look and he was taking his shoes off too, leaving them beside Nick's. He followed Nick into the living room, still not saying a word, and sat on the couch, head bowed, staring at the floor.

Sighing, Nick left the room and went to make tea. He hadn't expected their conversation at the mall to fix everything, or anything really, they were just words, a kind of promise that eventually they'd get back to normal even if it was going to be a hell of a trip to get there, but he hadn't seen Stephen so miserable since ... well, since the last time Helen had vanished, although at the time he hadn't realised the two things were connected. He wondered if it meant that Stephen was wishing he'd gone with her this time. He'd thought he was going to for a moment and he'd wanted to throw a childish tantrum. You can't have him, he's mine! Except of course he wasn't and even if he had been he'd have been Helen's first.

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration, banging the mugs around a little harder than he meant to as he made tea almost on autopilot. Much as he was grateful that he now knew what had happened to Helen, that he no longer had to look at every brunette he passed on the street just in case it was her, he wasn't sure her brief presence had been worth the price. Stephen had been right about one thing. Helen could be a real bitch some times.

When he went back into the living room, Stephen hadn't moved. His arms rested on his knees and he was leaning forwards, head bowed, and looking the picture of misery and despite everything that had happened in the last... God, was it really only 24 hours? Despite everything Nick wanted to make him feel better. He held one of the mugs out, moving it into Stephen's field of vision and smiling tentatively at him when his eyes flashed up to Nick's face in shock before he took the mug gratefully, wrapping his hands around it as if he was cold.

"Why are you here, Stephen?" he asked, tiredly.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I wanted to ride around, try and process everything and I just ... I came here. I haven't had a chance to say it ..." He looked up at Nick. "I am so sorry, Nick. For everything. I was young and stupid and flattered frankly that she was interested in me. I should never have done it."

"No, you shouldn't," Nick said bitterly. "But if it hadn't been you it would have been someone else."

"You don't know that," Stephen said hastily. "Maybe if I hadn't been there she'd have talked to you instead, made things right. She might even have told you about the anomaly..."

"Don't flatter yourself, Stephen," Nick told him. "Do you really think you were the first? Or that if she hadn't found that anomaly you'd have been the last? You were just one in a long list. Always people I had to work with, had to look in the eye knowing she'd been with them and that she'd told them things about me. It was about making sure I knew how lucky I was she stayed and that I should be grateful to have her around. She liked to make sure the affairs were with colleagues, students ... so I'd have a constant reminder that I couldn't satisfy her so she had to look elsewhere." He took a long swallow of his tea, aware he'd said rather more than he'd meant to.

Stephen flushed and looked down. Nothing like being told that the woman you'd worshipped, that you'd probably just lost your best friend over, hadn't really cared about you, that you weren't important to her, just a way of getting one over on her husband. "I should probably go. This was a bad idea."

"Drink your tea, Stephen," Nick told him, his voice losing some of its edge. "I meant what I said back at the mall. Forget about Helen. I'm still mad as hell at both of you, mainly you because I stopped expecting anything more from Helen years ago, but it's in the past. She left, you stayed." His mouth twisted into a wry grin. "And you made me stay too. You're the one who told me not to live in the past. Try taking your own advice. She's not worth being miserable over."

Stephen looked up again, mug frozen halfway to his mouth. "I'm not. Miserable over Helen that is. I'm worried that I'm running out of second chances here – I slept with your wife, I lied to you for nine years about it, I accused you of standing there and letting me get attacked by a raptor, and then I suggested you were having some kind of nervous breakdown. I owe you so many apologies after today I don't really know where to start. I've never been very good at saying sorry," he added with a self-mocking grin.

"Then don't," Nick said, reaching out and rubbing his shoulder gently. He crouched by the side of the sofa as he spoke. "I'm pissed about you sleeping with Helen but I'll get over it. I get why you didn't tell me about it. I'm not happy about that mind, but I understand it. The whole changed time line thing is hard for me to believe let alone anyone else, although I think I have a picture somewhere ..." He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and flipped it open, smiling softly at the picture of Claudia. Holding it out to Stephen he said, "Claudia Brown. Sweet, kind, strong even when she didn't know she was, and very loyal. She used to protect us from Lester's interfering. I'm going to miss her a lot."

Stephen forced himself to look at the picture, seeing the way Nick was holding her, the open, happy smile on his face. "I'm sorry. I wish I knew how to bring her back for you," he said, surprising himself when he actually meant it. If they ever did bring her back he'd resent the hell out of her, but it looked like she made Nick happy so he couldn't hate her for that.

Nick nodded and put the wallet away again. "The only thing I really need an apology for is you thinking for even a moment I'd have let that raptor kill you and not done anything about it. Christ, Stephen, I've run into more dangerous situations to rescue complete strangers and you really thought I could watch it rip you to piece and not do something?" He looked up at Stephen, letting him see how much that hurt.

"No, I ..." Stephen hesitated. "I didn't want to believe it. But, God, your face when Helen told you about the affair." He looked away. "You looked like she'd punched you and you were so hurt. I thought you must really hate me for that. I wouldn't have blamed you for not wanting to save me."

"Never," Nick said instantly, not able to hold the explosive whisper in. "I don't hate you Stephen and I would never wish you dead. If it hadn't run off and left you I'd have I don't know, thrown the gun at it or something, distracted it so you could get away."

Stephen turned back, the words he was about to say vanishing when he realised how close he was to Nick and saw the raw emotion in his eyes at the thought of something happening to him. He looked into his eyes, unable to turn away. "I am so sorry, Nick. For everything. I swear I will make it up to you. You won't regret forgiving me."

Nick bit back a groan at the regret and guilt in Stephen's face. More than anything he wanted to take his face in his hands and kiss him, show him how much he didn't care about Helen right now, but he couldn't. Stephen liked brunettes, with long wavy hair if possible, and sweet smiles. Not strawberry blonds with stubble and hard, angled bodies where there should be soft curves. He smiled ruefully and pulled back a little. "Spare bed's made up if you want to stay the night," he offered. "We should probably both get some sleep."

Stephen could have sworn Nick was going to kiss him, but then he was pulling back, talking about getting some sleep. It had to have been his imagination and even if it wasn't Nick obviously wasn't going to do anything and how the hell could he make the first move when he was still on shaky ground? He looked up at him as Nick got up and saw him freeze for a second and then close his eyes.

"Don't do this, Stephen," he warned. "Not now. Please. Just ... not tonight."

"What?" he asked. He hadn't done anything.

Nick reached out and cupped his cheek. "Don't make me want to kiss you, because this would be a really bad plan right now. Not while we're both still recovering from Helen's games."

Stephen flushed slightly. "I wasn't trying to do anything. I'm sorry. Maybe I should go back to my place."

"Don't," Nick said softly. He pulled Stephen to his feet and rested his head on his shoulder for a second before stepping back, leaving Stephen trying to figure out what was happening. Every time he thought he had hold of what was going on between them it shifted again and flowed through his fingers like so much sand. "I'm not saying no," Nick said, meeting his eyes and taking Stephen's breath away with the depth of emotion there, even if he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. "I'm just saying not now, not tonight."

Stephen reached out and grabbed his hand, daringly rubbing his fingers over the thinner skin at his wrist. "Not now," he promised. "Soon though?"

Nick shivered and chuckled, shaking his head slightly. "Do you honestly think I could resist you for long, Stephen? Soon. When we're both sure why we're doing this it'll just happen."

Stephen smiled wryly. "You've managed to resist me for the last nine years, Nick," he pointed out.

Nick blinked. "Stephen, you've never even hinted that you thought of me as anything more than a friend. There was nothing to resist."

Shaking his head, Stephen looked at Nick. "I know you're not blind and I remember things that implied you knew how I felt. I'm going to assume this is one of the changes between what you remember and what I do."

"Oh." Nick ran a hand through his hair. "I think I need to start making a list of changes." He took a deep breath and smiled at Stephen again. "Go to bed, Stephen. We'll talk about this tomorrow, I don't think I can handle any more changes right now."

Stephen squeezed his hand again, before letting it go. "You're going to be fine, Nick. If you need anything ..."

"Just some time," he said quietly. "You're right. I will be fine; I have to be. But the last twenty-four hours have been a bit dramatic and I need a few days to figure out how I fit into this new life." He smiled slowly at him, revelling in the way Stephen's eyes got darker as he reacted to the look. "And then we will be talking about this again."

Stephen groaned and muttered, "And he wants me to sleep after that." He grinned at Nick and brushed past him as he turned to go to bed. "In any time line you are an evil man, Nick Cutter."

Nick laughed, sounding truly like himself for the first time since he'd walked back through the anomaly with Stephen. "Pot, kettle, Stephen. Pot, kettle." He shook his head and went to find his own bed, turning the lights of and leaving the house in darkness.


End file.
